Ann_Whale

I hate packing. That’s a lie, usually I like packing, but it’s been a busy week working, cleaning, saying my goodbyes, and studying for my class and I neglected to pack until this morning. Steph and I just left Bloomington for Indy, in which I hope to enjoy a relaxing week of taking care of last minute to do lists and reading the books I’m supposed to have read for class in London. Can’t believe it’s less than a week away. Crazy right?  Already missing all my Bloomington friends, but we will be reunited sooner than you all know it! 

What the hell am I doing with my life? Seriously. I know I am studying abroad this summer, and I currently have two jobs. BUT I am currently not doing anything that is going to help my resume. All my friends are getting important and fancy internships where they will do actual life changing work with education or refugees or finance. Big people things and I am doing odd jobs then taking a screen-writing class in London that has absolutely nothing to do with my major or any life goals I have. Seriously What the hell am I doing? I called my mother tonight and she said, “Do you remember Jordan D***” (I’ve starred out her name to protect her identity. and I said, “Who the heck are you talking about mom?” and she said, “Jordan D**** from preschool” And I wish I could said “No of coarse I don’t remember someone from preschool” But I knew instantly she was referring to the very Jordan who stole my preschool boyfriend Taylor right out from under my nose so of coarse I remember her. But I did not want to seem petty so I told my mom I *might* remember a certain Jordan from preschool. And my mother said, “You know Jordan! The one who liked Taylor” Of coarse even my own mother remembers the humiliation of Jordan D***** stealing my preschool boyfriend. WELLL anyway the point of this whole story is that apparently this Jordan went on from her pre-school boyfriend stealing days to attend Georgetown University where she studies, get this, Journalism and Christianity and Islam (like how the relationship between these two religions affects culture and politics and stuff. I know all this because my mother told me she’s giving a talk about Religion that she thought I would be interested in and them I googled her and read her blog. She’s doing amazing things! She studied in Jordan and she writes her blog to help change American’s false perceptions about Islam.   The comments on her blog are an outpouring of people admiring everything she’s done and how far she’s going. And I can’t even be happy. I mean I’m happy people are reading her stuff and happy she’s changing the bigotry and false perceptions people have about other religions (seriously go her!) But in light of the current “I’m doing nothing with my life crisis” I just cannot get my heart to be happy about it right now. Because I’m a failure.